{"id":944,"date":"2009-08-31T09:05:27","date_gmt":"2009-08-31T16:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/?p=944"},"modified":"2009-08-31T09:05:27","modified_gmt":"2009-08-31T16:05:27","slug":"how-not-to-surprise-your-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/?p=944","title":{"rendered":"How not to surprise your wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Kat and I are going to be married for 14 years next week. I like getting her flowers sometimes. I got a spam in the mail from ProFlowers.com this morning with a good deal on roses. Score! I&#8217;ll order it now while I think about it.<\/p>\n<p>Kat and I have our computers in the same room but she can&#8217;t see my screen and I can&#8217;t see hers. No problem &#8212; I can quietly order flowers five feet away from her, and she&#8217;ll never know. I ask what her freelance work schedule is next week; she suspects nothing. I enter all the data quietly and it&#8217;s set up. Click here to confirm your order. Order confirmed!<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, after a <em>completely <\/em>silent ordering process, the speakers erupt. &#8220;THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER!&#8221; announces a cheery pop-up ad. A pop-up ad? A TALKING pop-up ad? Did I order flowers from 2005? And it won&#8217;t stop. &#8220;BE SURE TO SIGN UP FOR 15% OFF YOUR NEXT ORDER&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Happy Sales Lady is in the middle of a sentence and I think I know where she&#8217;s going. I&#8217;m frantically trying to close this pop-up window. Naturally, it starts to MOVE. Yeah &#8212; it just scrolls its way down the screen, as I try to hit its &#8220;close&#8221; button. Which means I&#8217;m ordering flowers from 2001 instead. If they are stupid enough to do this, they&#8217;re stupid enough to announce the name of the site before the end of this. If I can just close it before Happy Sales Lady completes her sentence&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;&#8230;FROM PROFLOWERS DOT COM!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t have to get me flowers,&#8221; says Kat. Maybe not, but they don&#8217;t have to TELL YOU I&#8217;m getting you flowers, either. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kat and I are going to be married for 14 years next week. I like getting her flowers sometimes. I got a spam in the mail from ProFlowers.com this morning with a good deal on roses. Score! I&#8217;ll order it &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/?p=944\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=944"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":945,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944\/revisions\/945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bunnyears.net\/dan\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}