Twitter stuff

I’ve been on it for a while, and people ask “what’s the point?” Well, besides the supposition that you are so fascinating that everybody needs to hear your every thought, it’s easier than stopping to blog, and it’s like having a conversation with your online friends all day long. Also, it’s a nice way to stay in touch with people in your industry. Frankly, there are folks that I feel like I have never worked with or gotten to know who run in different cliques in game journalism. It’s a lot like high school, actually; there are cool kids and outcasts, even though we all have a lot in common. It could just be my interpretation, but I often feel like I have done or said something that shut me out and I’ve never known what made me the social pariah — I know OF them, they know OF me, but there’s no connection. Is it where I’ve worked? Is it something I’ve written? Have I not gone to the right parties, whereas a lot of other folks like to hang out at the bar at press events, which has never been my scene? Am I not cynical enough in my outlook on gaming, which seems to be a common thread in the press? Did I simply not say hello enough when I had the chance — good ol’ fashioned social nerdery on my part?

So, you know, it’s kind of nice to use Twitter to follow those people and get to know them on some level, since I don’t know them in real life. And when they follow me, I think, okay, this is not a lost cause; maybe they feel the same way. It’s less awkward for everybody. Maybe this minor social interaction will make the next face-to-face meeting a little more engaging and fun.

In comes Qwitter. Twitter tells you when someone starts following you, but Qwitter tells you when someone stops. And sure enough, one of those people that I felt particularly good about chatting with left my Twitter feed today. They’re no longer interested in what I have to say; it’s a personal rejection. But I’m still following them.

I guess the real problem is that I place stock in what other people think of me in the first place, and then I’m using this as some sort of ego yardstick. I’m insecure enough to use Twitter to start with; I’m even more insecure that I signed up to use Qwitter to deliver bad news. And to top them all, I have put self-worth stock into the number of people who I think will be fascinated by my off-handed comments about music and the neighbor next door having sex.

Looks like I brought this on myself. Maybe I should go to more parties.

Actually, what this has taught me is that I put too much stock in what other people think of me. I gotta stop trying to be friends with everybody.

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