I’ve moved since the last post and the new place has improved my state of mind considerably. I am one of those people who is not happy unless I am happy in my physical space. The new digs are much larger — almost twice the amount of living space, which I will take over the old place’s enormous yard that we never used, hot tub that we paid to heat, and koi pond that we resented maintaining (dude, they’re your fish — you buy the fucking food, okay?). The new space has a much nicer feel and a more comfortable flow, which make me feel less claustrophobic and less grumpy overall. The commute is the same distance, and it might be a little more time on the road due to different traffic, but it’s not much. And I like where I’m going when I get there anyway.
I also had lunch with an old friend a few weeks — someone I grew up with in NJ who has also found their way to LA — and it was nice to hear him say “I know exactly what you mean” when I told him I hated LA. He also had to get over the hump and find what he liked about the city, and he ultimately did, and has offered to help me through it. But honestly, just hearing that alone gave me hope and was finally the thing that I needed to hear that helped me reconsider my outlook.
Lots of natives told me “Oh, you just don’t know yet, you’re not giving it a chance” — and while they may be right, that’s like the warden telling you that you really just have to want to enjoy prison. I needed to hear it from someone who knows where I came from and had similar experiences to mine that I really trusted to see past my own bitterness.
So we’re gearing up for year two and things don’t look as bleak as they did. So that’s good.