The Disney Diaries #2

My unhealthy interest in redheads leads me to seek out merch for three very different Disney characters: Ariel, Kim Possible, and Jessica Rabbit. Ariel’s a Disney Princess so she’s all over the place, and Kim’s got a token character meet-and-greet appearance at the MGM park, which I suppose is to be expected since she’s a TV character, not a movie starlet…but if that’s the criteria, where’s Jessica? Not here, anymore:

Before we got here, I found out they took down the giant Jessica neon sign at Pleasure Island and literally threw it in the trash, and I don’t know if the Roger Rabbit ride is still operating at Disneyland, but it’s not in the Florida park. They used to have a cutout of Jessica at Disney MGM for photo purposes, but even that’s gone. Any memorabilia is hard to come by – a few cloisonn√ɬ© pins (and if you are not into the elaborate, expensive, and slightly baffling pin trading scene at Disney parks, you are not allowed in) and one shirt of Jessica in a hula skirt with the legend “Jessica’s Island Tours – check out the scenery!” (which I didn’t buy). Oh, we found some lovely limited edition paintings for $600 each, but at that price, photos will suffice.

Jessica is caught somewhere between Disney Princess and Disney Villain – as Kat points out, along with Esmerelda from Hunchback and Megara from Hercules, she’s a Disney Harlot, and (perhaps wisely) little girls are not encouraged to dress up like femme fatales, let alone impossibly busty sex goddesses. So not much merch. But still…doesn’t someone realize there is money to be made here, if only on the sheer impossibly-naughty-for-a-Disney-character nature? When has the mouse ever left money on the table? It just doesn’t make sense.

Being a geek I fired up my laptop at the resort and found a great article online that explained everything. Amblin owns half of the Roger Rabbit franchise and Disney owns the other, so nothing can be created without the agreement of both companies, But clearly, they know that adults are the only ones interested in the character. With that in mind, I would be happy to brainstorm on a whole bunch of lewd merch for Jessica. They should be counter-programming all the saccharine sweetness of the princesses with Jessica shirts that say “Yes, someday your prince will come…if you know how to make him.”

Disney, when you are ready to finally embrace the character’s filthy and obvious destiny, you have my contact info. I was in room 3912.

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