The Rock & Roll Jeopardy story

When I turned 30, I set out to do a number of things before I got too old. One of them was to audition for a game show. Thanks to a friend of a friend who had been on the show, I actually did get to audition for Rock & Roll Jeopardy, and I wrote down the whole story of my experience…then forgot where I put it. I just found it on a very old backup disc, so here it is for safe keeping in Google’s cache forevermore. Commence cut and paste!

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Posted in Geek, Movies & TV, Music | Leave a comment

Only YOU can break the cycle of boring annual games

Gather ’round, haters. It’s that time of year again, when idiots start celebrating an annual game that never changes. Seriously: Every year, it’s the same thing — and yet every year it seems like people are even more eager to throw their money on the same repetitive game and call it entertainment.

Sometimes they change something minor — something new graphically, maybe a different logo, or a new catchphrase. It’s all superficial, though; the core gameplay never changes. It’s still just guys going at each other over and over to see who can score the most points. It’s so boring. Week in, week out, it’s the same exact thing.

And it kills me to see the people — sorry, the sheeple – who support this annual travesty, just throwing their money at it. It’s not cheap. Some morons pay even more for a deluxe experience. Why would anybody just keep wasting their money on the same game over and over again?

Ask any of these drones why they do it and you get weak answers. “I like it.” “I look forward to it every fall.” “My friends and I enjoy games together. It’s social.” These are the same idiots who shell out real cash money to buy, like, logo hats and shirts and crap like that, so they can literally wear their fandom on their sleeve. It’s bad enough they support it in their own homes and sit in front of the TV, mesmerized by the banality — now they have to go out in public and shove it down your throat, and be a walking billboard for their favorite game’s mediocrity.

So there you have it: A vicious cycle as society continually supports an annual game that makes crazy money but never innovates, never improves, never gets any better — just the same mind-numbing repetition as alpha males try to prove themselves as superior to the other meatheads. And every year around this time, it kicks off with a whole lot of speculation from armchair quarterbacks about what might happen this fall. And yet even though nobody really knows what they’re talking about because nothing has happened yet beyond pre-release hype, everybody seems brainwashed to agree: It’s going to be a great year for fans.

When are we, as a community, going to stand up and reject not only the NFL draft, but pro football itself?

Posted in Games | 13 Comments

I wrote a book

It only took me eight years, but the book I’ve been chipping away at is not only done, it’s on sale today. Behold, Critical Path: How to Review Videogames for a Living!

Even better, I got to announce the project officially with an interview at the freshly-launched Vox Games website.

I am excited. I am exhausted. I am hungry.

Posted in Games | 2 Comments

Happy Holidays, and I mean it

I have always been a Christmas guy. I grew up in the suburbs where most houses strung lights across the roof, and I loved going around at night to see them. My parents used to take us for drives in areas where they heard there were impressive displays. Friends from work would talk about their neighborhoods with pride so we’d go check them out. That’s one of the ways we celebrated.

Some people embrace religion and focus on the “reason for the season” — and with so many religions, there are many reasons. Some people enjoy the commercial aspect and really look forward to the gifts, decorations, and friendly traditions. Some are just into the nostalgia of the past; Christmas means their childhood, all magic and anticipation and joy.

Whether you see a lit-up tree in someone’s living room, a shining menorah in the window, a Yule log in the fire, or one of those houses that went way overboard with every decoration they could find, recognize it for what it is: Their public way of expressing warm fuzzies. They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t want to share their happiness with everyone around them. The holidays are a time when it’s socially acceptable to be openly, publicly happy. Christmas is an excuse, and it can be as generic or specific as you like.

If someone says “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Hannukah” or “Blessed Yule” to you this year, don’t immediately think of how that doesn’t include you. All they’re saying is “I’m happy right now, and I hope you are too.” Whether you frequent a synagogue, a chapel, a grove of trees, or a mall, embrace your personal celebration of magic, anticipation, and joy.

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GamePro is gone

I read the news today, oh boy. I have mixed emotions, but then again, I’ve had mixed emotions about GamePro since I left in 2003.

GamePro was seven years of my life, and they were alternately awesome and frustrating. Like any job. But I invested a lot of myself while I was there; it was not my first job, but it was a place that I really felt I belonged. I worked on the website way back in 1997. I worked on the print mag. I wrote news and reviews and previews and cover stories. I created two metapuzzles, huge hidden contests in two issues. I wrote words and Kat designed articles and we created awesome things, sometimes just the two of us. I worked like crazy and loved it. I won Employee of the Year. I have a leather jacket with the GamePro logo on it to prove it. I still stay in contact with many of my coworkers from that time. It was a family.

Leaving was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I wanted to stay, but I had an amazing offer for not only myself but Kat as well — Future wanted us as a team, and we wanted to keep working together. We would have preferred to stay at GamePro, truth be told, but IDG management at the time didn’t understand our situation, and I still harbor resentment about that. Like I said, mixed emotions.

I was part of the cartoon era. Dan Elektro and Bad Hare were my personas, as was the tech columnist MC Squared, and I made it a point to not hide behind my name. I wanted someone who read Dan Elektro’s articles to look at the masthead, find the only Dan there, and go “Amrich — that must be him.” We all got to choose our alter egos; they were custom designed for us. That was fun. It was never a dodge. If you read any given article by Dan Elektro and any other by Bad Hare, the voice is obvious — you can tell they’re both me. I can’t believe people never figured it out.

We got branded as a kiddie rag, but we never actually wrote for children. As a staff, we were very focused on making a magazine that we would want to read, even if some of the visuals were aimed at people younger than us. Who reads Seventeen magazine? Not 17-year-old girls, but younger girls who look forward to the independence and style and adulthood that 17 will bring. I always kept that in mind: Our reader was aspirational. They wanted to be older; they wanted to be treated with respect. We tried to deliver that respect along with a sense of fun — about games, about ourselves. I strove to make my articles clear to read, unpretentious, like a friend explaining something without being insulting. But I never wrote down to anybody.

Tons of people criticized GamePro’s writing, but I don’t think they were reading it. They saw cartoon characters on the bylines and rejected it wholesale. Even after we’d had major staff changes and major structural changes and full redesigns, I saw people say it: “GamePro articles suck, I never read them.” Well, if you don’t read them, how do you know? When I asked when they’d last read GamePro, it was inevitably years prior. And when they did finally break down and pick up a new issue, they saw what we had become. We had worked so hard to make GamePro vital and interesting and useful to our audience. But getting people over an outdated bias was always the hardest part.

After I left, the magazine changed, and changed again, and was in yet another state of evolution when the news came out this week. When I found out Julian Rignall was taking over, I was tempted to ask he had room on the staff for me. I am sorry for the people who bought in to that new vision; all they’ll get is one issue and questions about what they could have done if their run was longer.

Their pain is sharp and immediate; my pain is more of a dull ache. It feels weird to think that the place I spent half of my 15-year editorial career is no longer around.

I miss my family.

Posted in Games, Geek | 8 Comments

World of Warcraft Official Magazine: The Lost Bylines

I got my new issue of World of Warcraft Official Magazine this week — Volume 2, Issue 1. It’s got good content in there; I thought the story about people who play WoW in remote locations (from a trucker’s big rig, on a boat, on an island, etc) was interesting stuff, as were the tales of folks who soloed big raid bosses. There is one notable change in this issue, compared to Volume 1, Issue 1, which was the issue I worked on: The authors got bylines.

To be fair, V1 I4 started putting editorial bylines on articles as well, but the first three issues did not. This was due to a mandate by Blizzard’s licensing department, which made it clear that they did not want individual voices to be associated with WoW — the magazine was for the glory of WoW itself, and while it was never explicitly stated, I got the sense that they were afraid that someone would “get famous” off their game. Of course, this is not an issue in most other magazines; the person who writes the feature about Gears of War does not “get famous” by writing about Gears of War; Gears of War gets famous by having a story written about it. But in this power relationship, WoW was already famous, and I think the concern was that people would unfairly receive reflected glory. While I protested as the editor-in-chief, saying that my writers deserved visible credit for their work — and if anything, by using writers already established in the WoW community, this would look nice and symbiotic, and give the official mag some street cred — I did not win that battle. There is a line for “contributors” on the masthead and you are left to guess who wrote what.

I asked Blizzard at the start, before assigning anything, if there were any writers I should specifically avoid approaching, any names they knew that they would not want on the official project — you know, just in case they had done something that had pissed Blizzard off in the past. Anybody I used would reflect on Blizzard, after all, a tacit endorsement of that writer. I got no answer to that question and after waiting a while, I realized I had to simply start assigning the best writers I could find to the tasks at hand. Sure enough, when I started sending completed articles for approval, I was told that I’d hired some writers whose stories could not run, and I was supposed to approve my writers with Blizzard first. Maybe these writers had been critical of WoW in the past on independent blogs, or perhaps they’d be part of information leaks, but whatever it was, it was clear Blizzard had a blacklist and didn’t share it with me when I asked. After a lot of bargaining, we were allowed to rewrite and keep the content in, but at the price of not listing anybody’s names outside of the columnists, who were allowed to write in first person and therefore needed to be credited.

Two years later, the lack of feature bylines still sticks in my craw — this was one of several reasons I decided to leave the magazine, truth be told — and now that the policy has changed, I think it’s worth retroactively fixing this. So, just going down the Table of Contents as they appear in the magazine, here is who deserves credit for each specific article:

9 Things to Look Forward To In Cataclysm was written by Josh Augustine. I was the editor-in-chief, and Josh was credited as “not-editor-in-chief” simply because he was the only other full-time writer on the project, besides Julian Rignall, who was my boss and the editorial director of the department. The three of us were a good balance in terms of experience — Josh played arena and PvP, Julian was a serious raider in a large guild, and I was the more casual weekend warrior doing PvE with friends and PUGs. Together we had a really good outlook on which kind of player each feature should serve and how. On behalf of PC Gamer, Josh had been invited to see Cataclysm at a media event; for some reason, our magazine was not invited. I think it was because we were so new that they hadn’t started considering us as part of the media pool yet, and those kinds of things do happen. Thankfully, Josh was able to write preview stories for both PC Gamer and WoW so we got the story.

Onyxia: One Bad Mother was written by Cody Bye of Wowhead.com. If you’ve read any of his blogs, you know he’s an expert and I was very glad to have him on board.

The Siege of Icecrown Citadel was also written by Cody Bye.

The Mike Morhaime interview was conducted by Julian Rignall and myself, but Julian wrote the actual feature. Julian is now the editorial director of GamePro and that magazine is now a quarterly, just like WoW.

The WoW 5th Anniversary feature was a group effort, including content from Julian Rignall, Josh Augustine, Cody Bye, and myself.

Battlegrounds: Isle of Conquest was written by Josh Augustine. Josh is now an associate editor at PC Gamer, an MMO expert, and is one of the hardest-working, most pleasant PC gaming writers I know.

A View to A Kill was written by Todd Leveen of Monsters & Critics. This was my first time working with Todd and it went really well. I left for Activision shortly after he turned in his piece, so I wasn’t around for issue 2 to work with him more.

Deep Tactics: Crusader’s Coliseum was a herculean undertaking by Jamie Madison. She conducted several interviews and turned in what would become a 20-page feature. I was sad to see her name not appear at the beginning of it, as it was a very difficult assignment.

Battlegrounds: Arathi Basin was written by Julian Rignall.

Animal Magnetism was written by Teresa Dun, who was a hardcore WoW player even though her day job was at PlayStation: The Official Magazine. She’s at Nexon now, helping make MapleStory the giant success it has become. This was one of the first stories to come in as complete and wound up as a test bed for design — it went through many permutations as the art team defined the style of the magazine.

Crowning Achievements was also written by Teresa Dun.

From Out of Nowhere was written by Casey Lynch, who recently got the gig of EIC at IGN. Casey knows his stuff, and wrote for the second issue as well.

Wanted Posters was written by David Murphy, late of Maximum PC. Murph was up for anything and I said “Here’s something unusual — posters on demand.” And he took what could have been a spectacularly boring topic and made it a fun 4-pager.

In the Cards was written as a last-minute replacement by someone at Upper Deck whose name I forget, but I remember editing the piece. Very late in the production cycle of the magazine, a story we were specifically instructed to create by Blizzard as a cornerstone for the issue was suddenly decommissioned, leaving us with a gaping hole and very little time. We’d met the folks at Upper Deck at Blizzcon, and they were able to mobilize immediately to help us fill those several pages.

Booty Calls was written by Matt Low. I had read his healer and UI blogs and found his natural writing voice to be excellent. I approached him about freelancing and he’d never written for a print magazine before, but he was super responsible and conscientious about the assignments. He hit deadline and made all the edits I asked of him; he was very receptive to constructive feedback and my editorial direction. I could not wait to hire him again. Then I found out that Blizzard did not want his name to appear anywhere in the magazine, not even the contributors on the masthead — one of only two writers with that distinction. I was crushed and embarrassed; he was amazingly polite about the whole thing and still got paid, but I know he was disappointed.

The Crafty Crafter’s Guide to Inscription was written by Lesley Smith, and then heavily rewritten by me and further sculpted by Julian Rignall. It was simply off the mark and I needed to overhaul it so it fit the concept I had in my head — sometimes that happens. I created a new character with Inscription so I could understand what I needed to explain in the rewrite. Lesley was paid and I used a lot of her structure and personal interviews with players, but she was the other writer whose name was not allowed to appear in the magazine. She had written from multiple fansites before that.

Play It Your Way: Healers was written by Matt Low.

The columns are all credited accordingly — Alan Dexter, Josh Augustine, Luis Villazon, Tim Edwards, and one of Blizzard’s community managers, Nathaera. I was happy to see them get bylines but still unhappy about the inconsistency of accreditation within the issue.

The jokey end page, Epic Fails, was me. This is not likely something that would have carried a byline, as it was the humor page anyway.

And finally, the editor’s letter was written by me, but ultimately credited to Julian at my suggestion. I was leaving the magazine before its publication and I felt it would look embarrassing to have the welcome note credited to someone who had already said goodbye.

I was happy to see positive reactions to the issue when it came out — we made big promises in terms of “deluxe presentation” and “a coffee-table magazine,” and I think all the issues have delivered on that — but I did notice that a few people wondered why there were no names on the articles. Well, now you know. Ryan Vulk, the magazine’s art director, can tell you who designed which features, as he also worked with a talented group of designers to create those lush layouts. Unfortunately, they didn’t get on-page credit either.

Posted in WoW | 12 Comments

I broke the guitar rules

I have two rules when it comes to collecting guitars. I didn’t start out with rules — I didn’t even start out to be a collector! — but in looking at what I’ve acquired over the years, there have been two constants, which became deliberate choices after I noticed the pattern:

1: Nothing in brown sunburst. Any other colored burst is fine (Kat’s bass is a sparkly blueburst; the T5 is a blueburst over a tiger maple top), and even just showing the natural wood is fine. I know it’s “traditional” but after 50 or 60 years, isn’t it time to break with tradition?

2: Nothing in black. In this case, it’s not even tradition — it’s a cliche. For some reason, it’s even worse in the world of bass. For every 14-year-old who says “I want a bass,” I always reply, “Oh, good! What shade of black are you going to get?” Playing a black bass does not make you a stud. It makes you a sheep.

Now, my guitar tastes run toward the unusual. I like guitars that respect the truly classic American designs, and I have my fair share, but I usually buy ones that put their own spin on those designs, have some special relevance, evolve them in some interesting way, or just plain make you do a double take. But no matter what I’ve gotten, those two rules have always been in place: no sunburst and no black.

Baaaa. Baaaaaaaaaaa. I bought a black bass last week.

Mind you, it does strongly illustrate the evolution point. I have been using Line 6 gear for six or seven years now. I loved their POD guitar amp simulators, so I bought their bass unit to match. Then I upgraded to a newer POD, then a floor unit, which I used on stage with Fast Times. Then they started making guitars, so I tracked down a Variax 500 in (thankfully) candy apple red — it thinks it’s two dozen different guitars, so I can go from Telecaster to dobro to Les Paul to Rickenbacker to sitar by turning a knob. It’s also entirely programmable via Windows or Mac, via POD and a USB cable. I can make custom hybrids and weird guitars that should not exist but now do, virtually.

The black bass I got is a Variax bass. It does most of the same things as the guitar, but for four-strings — six flavors of Fender, plus Rickenbacker, Steinberger, Gibson, uprights, even some synth toys. Being a Beatles fan, I’ve been lusting after a Hofner violin bass for years, but they are fragile and limited. The Variax model based on the Hofner got high praise, so to be able to have that — AND Flea’s Modulus bass, AND a Stingray, AND a freakin’ 8-string — well, it was worth breaking the rules.

The eBay seller sent the wrong gear with the bass, plus there’s a noticable ding in the front that he says wasn’t there when he shipped it. I had to take off the knobs to remove the bits of frayed plastic that once protected the pickguard; the pickguard screws were rusted from sweat, and the strings show corrosion, so they’re getting changed. I put on Schaller straplocks as usual (had to do the toothpick-and-wood-glue trick since the previous screws were on the beefy side), and I tried a few straps to offset the boring blackness of it, but — embarassingly — my lovely 2.5″ basic black suede strap works best. Anything else takes away from the interestingly shaped pearloid pickguard. I have to admit…it looks classy. All my other guitars offer form and function, but this time, I had to be honest with myself and say that I value function over form. And it’s not ugly.

Besides, they only made this bass in two colors. Guess what the other one was.

As a result of this acquisition, I am regretfully selling my uber-funky Fernandes Vertigo bass if you are interested. It’s this one — heavily customized (Lace Sensor pickups, Badass II bridge, Q-Parts knobs, solid tuners, and of course Schaller straplocks) and totally refinished in non-factory-standard Sherwood Green nitrocellulose. Just drop me a line if you’re interested, because I have to obey the “one-bass-enters, one-bass-leaves” rule.

Posted in Guitar | 1 Comment

Trailers, tone, and expectations

Chances are good that you’ve seen the incredible Dead Island trailer that IGN posted this week. I had not heard of this game before, but apparently it’s been in development for several years. Really, all it took was that trailer, and the game was suddenly on my radar.

The first thing I thought of when I saw it was the Gears of War “Mad World” trailer, which also juxtaposed emotionally fragile music with scenes of intense action. I think that paid off in two ways for Gears — one, it got people’s attention by playing against type, and two, it actually did underscore the melodrama of the final game. In-between the monsters and gunfire, they really did talk about how the characters were reacting emotionally to the changes in their lives. Real reactions to unreal situations makes good drama, especially in sci-fi, and it’s one of the reasons I’ve always had a soft spot for Gears.

So…I wonder if Dead Island will deliver the same kind of parallel that “Mad World” did. Is the Dead Island trailer an excellent and affecting piece of machinima to be taken on its own, or is it intended to be representative of the gameplay? Gamers don’t seem to be able to distinguish between “this is a cool idea” and “this is a promise,” so I wonder if this could be a problem.

I am reminded of when Nintendo showed some test GameCube footage of a realistic-looking Link in 2000, and fans lost their minds over how much they wanted it. Then Shigeru Miyamoto said “Actually, the real game is called Wind Waker, and it’s cel-shaded.” Gamers were livid. I remember this vividly because I was answering the letter column at GamePro at the time, and…oh my god. The anger! The horror! The spelling errors!

Mind you, Nintendo never said the footage that they showed was gameplay — it was just test footage showing the potential applications of the new hardware and its processing power — but gamers wanted to believe this brief segment was a product announcement…so they did. And when they were given something else, they immediately and intensely hated it simply because it was not what they told themselves to expect. Of course, hearts and minds were changed once people took Wind Waker on its own merits, but it’s a classic example of gamer expectations not syncing up with gaming reality, and the temper tantrums that can result.

I don’t think there is a downside to the attention Dead Island has gotten — like I said, I’m suddenly aware and want to know more, and that’s what an announcement trailer is designed to do. And I don’t really care if that was in-game footage or not. I am far more interested to find out whether the game’s plot deals with the emotional toll of a zombie outbreak — does the game’s narrative pull the same strings that the trailer does? The preview suggests it’s a gritty zombie world but I guess we won’t really know how deep the wounds go until the game is ready.

I hope that whatever Dead Island’s goals turn out to be live up to the audience’s expectations…because I think expectations were just set.

UPDATE: The family in the trailer is not in the game. It was just one perspective of the events that happen the game, which is described as a gory zombie actioner. But it still sounds like the game will be adding its own emotional spin to the genre and trying to offer more narrative depth. I’m still interested.

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OK, LA isn’t THAT bad

I’ve moved since the last post and the new place has improved my state of mind considerably. I am one of those people who is not happy unless I am happy in my physical space. The new digs are much larger — almost twice the amount of living space, which I will take over the old place’s enormous yard that we never used, hot tub that we paid to heat, and koi pond that we resented maintaining (dude, they’re your fish — you buy the fucking food, okay?).  The new space has a much nicer feel and a more comfortable flow, which make me feel less claustrophobic and less grumpy overall. The commute is the same distance, and it might be a little more time on the road due to different traffic, but it’s not much. And I like where I’m going when I get there anyway.

I also had lunch with an old friend a few weeks — someone I grew up with in NJ who has also found their way to LA — and it was nice to hear him say “I know exactly what you mean” when I told him I hated LA. He also had to get over the hump and find what he liked about the city, and he ultimately did, and has offered to help me through it. But honestly, just hearing that alone gave me hope and was finally the thing that I needed to hear that helped me reconsider my outlook.

Lots of natives told me “Oh, you just don’t know yet, you’re not giving it a chance” — and while they may be right, that’s like the warden telling you that you really just have to want to enjoy prison. I needed to hear it from someone who knows where I came from and had similar experiences to mine that I really trusted to see past my own bitterness.

So we’re gearing up for year two and things don’t look as bleak as they did. So that’s good.

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LA sucks

So, 10 months in, the new gig is working out. Activision has my back and has given me incredible freedom and autonomy. I’m almost my own boss. I am seeing what I do have a positive effect, internally and externally, and it’s growing slowly and organically. All signs are good.

The locale is bad. It was the one major thing that I did not like about taking the job, and all the other elements outweighed it — logic trumped emotion. But still, I have not found anything significant than I like about Los Angeles that makes me want to be here. I hate the traffic.I hate the weather. I hate the attitude and the general vibe. Fuck, I’m embarrassed to be here — even more than when I used to hide that I was from New Jersey. “Where do you live?” “Just south of Silicon Valley. Like, five hours south.”

I am moving to a new place at the end of the year, but I cannot afford to move any further than that. I may not be able to afford that, frankly.

I’m stuck here. I just pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I do not die here.

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